True Serenity

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. Your encouragement and prayers are so greatly appreciated! I've wanted to have a good cry for a few weeks, but no tears would come. After getting all that stuff out of my system and reading your thoughtful comments, the tears finally came, but they were good tears. The soul-cleansing kind.

This morning, I met my mother-in-law at the local coffee shop for breakfast. She told me a few days ago that she had been praying for my situation and asking that the Lord would give her scriptures that she could share with me for encouragement/guidance. Since the coffee shop was cram packed and not very private, we headed to my car where we proceeded to talk, laugh and cry for an hour and a half. It was wonderful and I feel so much better! One thing she shared with me was a poem that you are probably already familiar with, but I had never heard the second part of it (which we agreed is the most powerful part of the poem). I don't know the title of it, but here it is:

God grant me the serenity to accept
The things that I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it,
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to his will
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next

-Reinhold Niebuhr

My first thought after reading this was that it was ironic that part of the poem is about serenity and that is the name of my blog. I really want to live a life of sweet serenity, and most days I do. My next thought was that I cannot change anything about my situation except myself. I can't change my husband; I can't change other people. I can only rest in contentment and trust that God will make things right according to His will. Tough situations in my life are like fuel to the fire that is refining me like gold.

I want God's will for my life above any of my own desires. I must have faith to believe that even if things don't turn out like I want them to or like I thought they would turn out, that it's still all a part of God's plan for my life and He is still in control.

We weren't made for this world, although our flesh is certainly part of this world and we must battle against it daily. Our souls were made for Heaven, to be in God's presence, to overcome the world.

I don't want external circumstances, which influence my happiness, to steal my internal joy that comes from a relationship with God. I realized today that I don't let my joy shine through. I let my circumstances dictate how I feel, I wear a frown on my face, I worry, I get angry, I hold a grudge, all getting me nowhere. What kind of testimony is that? I'd rather be reasonably happy in this life and be forever supremely happy with the Lord in the next. I'd rather let go of all the baggage. How about you?