I went to the doctor today because of concerns about possible thyroid issues and not being able to conceive after 11 months of trying. Several friends and my sister in law have all been to this particular doctor and have had very positive things to say about him. This was actually my second visit, but today he had a more profound impact on me than my first impression. Before I get into what I really want to write about, I didn't get any definite answers to why I'm tired all. the. time. But, he wants to do blood work soon to rule out thyroid issues and anemia. And he was really encouraging about us starting a family, even though it's taking longer than I ever imagined. We're going to give it a few more months before moving forward with a specialist.
During our visit, the doctor kept quoting Scripture and relayed the story of Gideon to us. He said, "If you had gotten pregnant right away, you might have taken the glory for yourselves, instead of giving the glory to God. Gideon started out with an army of 32,000 men and the enemy had an army of 135,000. God knew that when Gideon defeated the Midianites, he would take all the credit himself. 'Look what a good leader I am! I led these men to victory against this huge army!' But God had different plans. In the end, God whittled down Gideon's army to just 300 men and led them to victory in a battle that would have been 450 men to 1. God got all the glory for it, too." Our doctor encouraged us to trust God and relinquish all control to Him so that He gets all the glory when we become parents. I like the sound of that a lot.
He also quoted Isaiah 40:31, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength...they will run and not grow weary...". He explained that the word "wait" in this scripture was talking about someone with their hands bound together, unable to break free or do anything. They have to wait for someone else to come and set them free. We are helpless except to wait upon the Lord to move. When He is ready, He will come and set us free, but in the meantime, during the waiting, we must hold on to hope and be renewed! We must trust that He will be faithful to rescue us! Through the waiting, there is refreshing. Strength rising as we wait upon the Lord. The part about running and not growing weary ties right in with another Scripture that I've been standing on: Hebrews 12:1-3, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
Throughout this past year, I have had such highs and lows. Twenty five of my friends, family and co-workers have either had a baby or become pregnant. It's been a hard pill to swallow at times, seeing them so full of excitement and anticipation, preparing for the changes to come. It's especially hard to listen to them complain about feeling like a whale or having indigestion or getting to those last few weeks and praying that the baby would come early so they wouldn't be miserable anymore because I'd give anything to be big, fat and pregnant right now if it meant I'd have a sweet baby in my arms as a result. Sometimes I've thought my pms symptoms were those of pregnancy and have enjoyed feeling nauseous because it meant that my dream might be coming true.
Even though I'm still in the process of waiting and my hands are tied until God says, "It's time!", I want to give Him the glory now. If it weren't for these past 11 months, I wouldn't have this compassion for women who struggle with infertility. I wouldn't have this kind of relationship with God and started praying Scripture over my family and myself. I wouldn't have met this wonderful doctor whom I'm greatly looking forward to delivering my baby. I might not have cherished these last few months of "singleness" with Alex and let them slip by, taken for granted. I wouldn't have learned all the many lessons that God wants me to understand through all of this.
Thank you, Lord, for the times of waiting. Even though it's so hard to be patient and it's so easy to get caught up in a pity party of despair, You give me hope. You have good plans for my life, not plans to harm me. I rejoice in You in the midst of sorrow because You are still in control. I give You all the glory and praise for being with me in this season, because a time of harvest is coming and it's going to be awesome!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
And This Week's Memory Verse Is...
Our church just finished up a four-night production of Heaven's Gates and Hell's Flames, a drama depicting different scenarios where people die and either go to heaven or hell. At one point, Satan comes out and talks to the audience and quotes a scripture (I can't remember which one!) and then says, "What? You're surprised I know scripture? I know lots of Scripture - way more than you do!" I knew that Satan knew scripture because he manipulated it to try and tempt Jesus in the desert. But this part of the play convicted me. Satan does know way more scripture than me and I need to memorize more of God's Word so that I have weapons to fight spiritual warfare.
"10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6: 10-17
The sword of the spirit is the Word of God, the only piece of armor that can be used to fight back against the enemy. I can't waive my helmet of salvation at the devil and make him flee. If anything, that puts a bigger target on my back. He hates that I'm saved and wants to see me turn my back on God.
"10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
The word of God is the best weapon I have to defeat the lies of the enemy. When he whispers little "white lies" to deceive me, I have to speak the truth of the Word so that the lies don't take root in my heart.
I came home from watching the drama on Tuesday and wrote down probably 10 scriptures on index cards that I want to memorize right away. My goal is to memorize at least one verse a week (52 a year). I took the first note card to work with me, leaned it up against my computer monitor and memorized a scripture on the first day. Not only do I want to have God's Word in my heart to fight against Satan, but I want to be able to teach it to my children, pray it over my family, and encourage other people with the Truth. No more "garbage in, garbage out" mentality. I want to speak hope, truth, life into other people's lives. I want to stand firm in my faith. I want to fight the good fight and not grow weary and lose heart. Sometimes battles seem like there's no end in sight, but the Word says "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours" Mark 11:24
"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26
"I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Jeremiah 32:27
The Bible instructs us to hide God's word in our hearts that we "might not sin against God" (Psalm 119:11) and also says that the word is "sharper than a double-edged sword...it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12). The Word is powerful! It keeps us from sin, convicts of us wrong attitudes, strengthens us in weakness, connects us to God's heart, gives us instructions on how to live our lives. I don't know about you, but I want more of that in my life!
"10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6: 10-17
The sword of the spirit is the Word of God, the only piece of armor that can be used to fight back against the enemy. I can't waive my helmet of salvation at the devil and make him flee. If anything, that puts a bigger target on my back. He hates that I'm saved and wants to see me turn my back on God.
"10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
The word of God is the best weapon I have to defeat the lies of the enemy. When he whispers little "white lies" to deceive me, I have to speak the truth of the Word so that the lies don't take root in my heart.
I came home from watching the drama on Tuesday and wrote down probably 10 scriptures on index cards that I want to memorize right away. My goal is to memorize at least one verse a week (52 a year). I took the first note card to work with me, leaned it up against my computer monitor and memorized a scripture on the first day. Not only do I want to have God's Word in my heart to fight against Satan, but I want to be able to teach it to my children, pray it over my family, and encourage other people with the Truth. No more "garbage in, garbage out" mentality. I want to speak hope, truth, life into other people's lives. I want to stand firm in my faith. I want to fight the good fight and not grow weary and lose heart. Sometimes battles seem like there's no end in sight, but the Word says "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours" Mark 11:24
"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26
"I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Jeremiah 32:27
The Bible instructs us to hide God's word in our hearts that we "might not sin against God" (Psalm 119:11) and also says that the word is "sharper than a double-edged sword...it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12). The Word is powerful! It keeps us from sin, convicts of us wrong attitudes, strengthens us in weakness, connects us to God's heart, gives us instructions on how to live our lives. I don't know about you, but I want more of that in my life!
Friday, April 1, 2011
We're Debt Freeeeee!!!!! (except our house)
Sometime at the end of 2010, Alex and I started listening to The Dave Ramsey show on the radio. Then I bought Dave's book, The Total Money Makeover, on cd along with a cd about cash flow from his Financial Peace University for Alex for Christmas. We started using a cash envelope budgeting system in February and as of March 30th, we've paid off a car, a motorcycle and a credit card. Now we only have a mortgage and are working on saving up 6 months of living expenses. We're (practically) debt free!!!! It feels so wonderful! If you've never read The Total Money Makeover, I highly recommend it. It's geared more towards people with tons of debt, but so many of his principles apply no matter what state your finances are in. I'm so excited to see where we go from here! We have so many ideas swirling around in our heads. Now, to figure out how to fit some money in the budget for curtains...
Monday, March 28, 2011
Eco-Easter T-Shirt Bags
After whipping up my first t-shirt bag without a hitch, I headed to Goodwill to see what I could find to make bags for our nieces and nephew. It took just 30 minutes to make 4 bags. How's that for a quick and easy sewing project?! Here's how they turned out:
The little knots on the shoulders were made out of the shirt sleeves since I found long-sleeved shirts for the older girls. The princess shirt was a hooded sweatshirt.
Strawberry Shortcake was a pajama top.
(I didn't want to lose the purple ruffled trim on this one, so I stitched it closed on the outside instead of turning it inside out.)
Sky has graduated from infatuation with Spiderman to quite an interest in Transformers.
On one hand, they just look like tank tops, but once you hold them up as bags I think they're a lot cuter. Now to get the Easter eggs ready for hunting!
The little knots on the shoulders were made out of the shirt sleeves since I found long-sleeved shirts for the older girls. The princess shirt was a hooded sweatshirt.
Strawberry Shortcake was a pajama top.
(I didn't want to lose the purple ruffled trim on this one, so I stitched it closed on the outside instead of turning it inside out.)
Sky has graduated from infatuation with Spiderman to quite an interest in Transformers.
On one hand, they just look like tank tops, but once you hold them up as bags I think they're a lot cuter. Now to get the Easter eggs ready for hunting!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
T-shirt Bag Tutorial
I'm putting together an Easter egg hunt for our nieces and nephew again this year and was on the hunt for a thrifty easter basket/bag/bucket idea. I bought $1 buckets last year and they were ok, but I didn't really want to buy something like that again since they end up getting thrown away. A friend found an idea in a kids magazine that I fell in love with instantly: a t-shirt bag. Before I went to Goodwill to buy shirts for the kids' bags, I did a test run using an old t-shirt I already had. The logo on it is for our children's ministry at church, so I made it to give to the children's pastor's wife. Start with a shirt (can be long or short-sleeved) and cut off the sleeves and collar and trim off the bottom hem if you want to make the bag shorter. I've found that it helps to turn the shirt inside-out so you can more easily see to cut all the hem off. Jersey knit doesn't fray, so you don't have to worry about having raw edges!
With the shirt inside-out, straight stitch across the bottom of the shirt:
Using the neck hole, turn it right-side out.
Voila! The arm holes are now the handles of your bag! I added ribbon bows to the handles for a little decoration and to make it look a little less like a t-shirt.
I think I'm going to dig around for some more shirts so I can make reusable shopping bags. Stay tuned for the Eco-Easter Edition of the t-shirt bag! I found some cute shirts for the kiddos!
With the shirt inside-out, straight stitch across the bottom of the shirt:
Using the neck hole, turn it right-side out.
Voila! The arm holes are now the handles of your bag! I added ribbon bows to the handles for a little decoration and to make it look a little less like a t-shirt.
I think I'm going to dig around for some more shirts so I can make reusable shopping bags. Stay tuned for the Eco-Easter Edition of the t-shirt bag! I found some cute shirts for the kiddos!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Move This Mountain
A friend of ours said something tonight that Alex and I thought was really powerful. Then Alex said that I'd probably forget what it was in 5 minutes, so what better way to remember than to write it down (or type it out). It went something like this:
Sometimes we have issues in our lives that we ask God to fix, but nothing happens. God is there with us, as His Word promises, and He has the power and authority to remove any mountain that hinders us. The problem is that sometimes we hold onto the very things that caused the mountain to be there in the first place. The movies and tv shows that we watch, the books we read, the music we listen to all in the name of entertainment and good fun can open doors in the spiritual realm that we don't want opened. We give the devil a foothold and then ask, plead, beg God to intervene and rescue us, but we're not willing to close the door to all that junk. Someone gave the example of a co-worker who was afraid to be alone at night if her husband had to work. Come to find out, this lady read vampire books at night before bed. It seems elementary to see the connection here, but I am guilty of the same thing in my life.
How many times to I turn on the tv out of boredom? WAY too many times. How many times do I try to convince myself that a certain show "really isn't that bad"? I've read books about witchcraft that were intended for children, so are they really that bad? Surely not! I try to justify my actions to soothe my conscience, but it only lasts for so long. Then I get upset that God hasn't answered my prayers and given me the desires of my heart. I get discouraged when the battles I've been fighting aren't won. How badly do I desire the mountains in my life to be moved? Is my relationship with God more important than "entertainment"? YES! Is my marriage more important? YES! Then why is it so hard to fight against my flesh and be set free from bondage and allow God to have control? I've opened up the doors for darkness to come in, but then fail to recognize what opened the doors in the first place. All I can see is the darkness and can't figure out how to get rid of it. It's like eating junk food, gaining 50 pounds and the saying, "God, make me skinny! Heal me of high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes!" and then turning around and eating a gallon of rocky road and a biggie order of french fries.
If we want God to move mountains, we have to put some muscle into it, too. It's scary to ask God to reveal sin in your life because you can be sure that He'll bring all kinds of stuff to your mind that you didn't really want to deal with right then. I remember being in high school and praying that God would show me sin in my life. He just kept bringing things to my mind and it seemed like it would never stop. I realized how much I had to repent of and ask forgiveness for. It was hard! Pride is dangerous! I didn't want to have to admit that I was wrong, but it was the only way to move forward into the plans that God had for me.
If there is a mountain in your life that you want God to move, start by examining your life and allow the Holy Spirit to bring things to your mind that you need to deal with. I'm nervous about it myself, but I'm ready for the battle to be won. I don't want a stupid tv show or book or attitude to hinder me from receiving victory. Christ endured the agony of the cross for me, and I'm not going to take it for granted. If He could endure torture to forgive me of my sins and give me eternal life, then I can handle putting aside my pride to deal with my sin and ask for forgiveness. The next time I ask God to move a mountain, I don't want my own issues standing in the way.
Sometimes we have issues in our lives that we ask God to fix, but nothing happens. God is there with us, as His Word promises, and He has the power and authority to remove any mountain that hinders us. The problem is that sometimes we hold onto the very things that caused the mountain to be there in the first place. The movies and tv shows that we watch, the books we read, the music we listen to all in the name of entertainment and good fun can open doors in the spiritual realm that we don't want opened. We give the devil a foothold and then ask, plead, beg God to intervene and rescue us, but we're not willing to close the door to all that junk. Someone gave the example of a co-worker who was afraid to be alone at night if her husband had to work. Come to find out, this lady read vampire books at night before bed. It seems elementary to see the connection here, but I am guilty of the same thing in my life.
How many times to I turn on the tv out of boredom? WAY too many times. How many times do I try to convince myself that a certain show "really isn't that bad"? I've read books about witchcraft that were intended for children, so are they really that bad? Surely not! I try to justify my actions to soothe my conscience, but it only lasts for so long. Then I get upset that God hasn't answered my prayers and given me the desires of my heart. I get discouraged when the battles I've been fighting aren't won. How badly do I desire the mountains in my life to be moved? Is my relationship with God more important than "entertainment"? YES! Is my marriage more important? YES! Then why is it so hard to fight against my flesh and be set free from bondage and allow God to have control? I've opened up the doors for darkness to come in, but then fail to recognize what opened the doors in the first place. All I can see is the darkness and can't figure out how to get rid of it. It's like eating junk food, gaining 50 pounds and the saying, "God, make me skinny! Heal me of high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes!" and then turning around and eating a gallon of rocky road and a biggie order of french fries.
If we want God to move mountains, we have to put some muscle into it, too. It's scary to ask God to reveal sin in your life because you can be sure that He'll bring all kinds of stuff to your mind that you didn't really want to deal with right then. I remember being in high school and praying that God would show me sin in my life. He just kept bringing things to my mind and it seemed like it would never stop. I realized how much I had to repent of and ask forgiveness for. It was hard! Pride is dangerous! I didn't want to have to admit that I was wrong, but it was the only way to move forward into the plans that God had for me.
If there is a mountain in your life that you want God to move, start by examining your life and allow the Holy Spirit to bring things to your mind that you need to deal with. I'm nervous about it myself, but I'm ready for the battle to be won. I don't want a stupid tv show or book or attitude to hinder me from receiving victory. Christ endured the agony of the cross for me, and I'm not going to take it for granted. If He could endure torture to forgive me of my sins and give me eternal life, then I can handle putting aside my pride to deal with my sin and ask for forgiveness. The next time I ask God to move a mountain, I don't want my own issues standing in the way.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The Benefits of Budgeting
Call me a nerd, but I like living on a budget. Alex and I are in the middle of our second month using an envelope budgeting system and it's going really well. I bought Dave Ramsey's book, The Total Money Makeover on cd for Alex for Christmas along with one of Dave's seminars on cash flow. We finished listening to them in January and jumped into our new routine in February. Since then, I don't stress about money as much and Alex and I are on the same page about where our income is going. If you aren't familiar with Dave Ramsey, he is a best-selling author, a radio talk show host and creator of Financial Peace University, which teaches people "baby steps" to get out of debt, save for emergencies and plan for their financial futures. I'm happy to say that by the end of this month, we'll be debt free (except for our house)!!! Throughout this process, I've learned a lot about my spending habits. There are some great benefits to living on a budget.
1. You tend to buy less stuff on impulse and instead, think before buying that "stuff- you-just-can't-live-without-because-it's-only-$1! A dollar store opened up a little over a year ago just a mile or so from my house. They have an entire aisle devoted to scrapbooking and card making supplies (and much of it is name brand), which is right up my ally. I bought countless brads, buttons, paper packs, stickers, and more with the intention of making my nieces homemade cards every month to let them know that their Aunt Amanda loved them. And then I never used any of it. The stuff just sat around my office taking up space. So, $30 and a shipping box later, my nieces received a lovely care package in the mail full of those kiddy embellishments so that they could make their own cards (which they had been starting to do with my sister and her Cricut).
2. Because you don't buy as much on impulse, your house isn't cluttered with STUFF! This is pretty self-explanatory. It's amazing how I used to go into a store and buy something without much thought about it. Now that I have a set amount of spending money every month - in cash, so as not to be tempted by the debit card - I really think about what I buy and I usually end up walking away without feeling deprived.
3. You have less stress! Knowing when money is coming in and when it is going out and having it all accounted for on paper gives me peace that bills will be paid on time, there will be money put in savings and not taken out because we overspent and our goals will be met because we're actually doing something to reach them.
4. Budgeting gives you goals to work towards. We're working toward saving up 6 months of living expenses in case of an emergency, saving for retirement, and eventually some home improvement projects. We also know the timeline of how long it should take us to reach these goals.
5. Budgeting opens up communication between you and your spouse about goals, dreams, etc. Statistics show that fights about finances are a major source of strife in marriage, even leading to divorce. Thankfully, so far, Alex and I haven't really had any issues in this area. We sat down and talked about how much to budget for everything from spending money to vet visits. After the budget was set, we kept talking about it to work out a few kinks and discuss new dreams and goals that we wanted to be prepared for.
6. There is freedom in having boundaries. Simply, I don't feel controlled by money. I know how much I have to spend every week on groceries, eating out, hobbies and clothes. If there is no money in the "Amanda's spending money" envelope, then I don't buy the pretty fabric to sew a new purse until the next month. I've learned a lot of self control over the past 6 weeks!
Sometimes I look back over the last two and a half years that we've been married and regret that we didn't make these changes sooner. We could have had our emergency fund ready by now. We could have replaced the 1984 faux-butcher block laminate kitchen countertops already. I can't change the past, but I can change our future and it's looking bright!
1. You tend to buy less stuff on impulse and instead, think before buying that "stuff- you-just-can't-live-without-because-it's-only-$1! A dollar store opened up a little over a year ago just a mile or so from my house. They have an entire aisle devoted to scrapbooking and card making supplies (and much of it is name brand), which is right up my ally. I bought countless brads, buttons, paper packs, stickers, and more with the intention of making my nieces homemade cards every month to let them know that their Aunt Amanda loved them. And then I never used any of it. The stuff just sat around my office taking up space. So, $30 and a shipping box later, my nieces received a lovely care package in the mail full of those kiddy embellishments so that they could make their own cards (which they had been starting to do with my sister and her Cricut).
2. Because you don't buy as much on impulse, your house isn't cluttered with STUFF! This is pretty self-explanatory. It's amazing how I used to go into a store and buy something without much thought about it. Now that I have a set amount of spending money every month - in cash, so as not to be tempted by the debit card - I really think about what I buy and I usually end up walking away without feeling deprived.
3. You have less stress! Knowing when money is coming in and when it is going out and having it all accounted for on paper gives me peace that bills will be paid on time, there will be money put in savings and not taken out because we overspent and our goals will be met because we're actually doing something to reach them.
4. Budgeting gives you goals to work towards. We're working toward saving up 6 months of living expenses in case of an emergency, saving for retirement, and eventually some home improvement projects. We also know the timeline of how long it should take us to reach these goals.
5. Budgeting opens up communication between you and your spouse about goals, dreams, etc. Statistics show that fights about finances are a major source of strife in marriage, even leading to divorce. Thankfully, so far, Alex and I haven't really had any issues in this area. We sat down and talked about how much to budget for everything from spending money to vet visits. After the budget was set, we kept talking about it to work out a few kinks and discuss new dreams and goals that we wanted to be prepared for.
6. There is freedom in having boundaries. Simply, I don't feel controlled by money. I know how much I have to spend every week on groceries, eating out, hobbies and clothes. If there is no money in the "Amanda's spending money" envelope, then I don't buy the pretty fabric to sew a new purse until the next month. I've learned a lot of self control over the past 6 weeks!
Sometimes I look back over the last two and a half years that we've been married and regret that we didn't make these changes sooner. We could have had our emergency fund ready by now. We could have replaced the 1984 faux-butcher block laminate kitchen countertops already. I can't change the past, but I can change our future and it's looking bright!
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