Wednesday, June 26, 2013

How I Found Out About Baby #2

In case you missed it, here's the pregnancy reveal post I wrote yesterday. I'm writing this weeks before I'll actually publish this post so that I don't forget any details. Sometime after our miscarriage in January, I started having this feeling that our next baby would be due in January (2014). That thought just wouldn't go away. I wondered if it was God whispering to me about His plans for our family's future, but, to be honest, I still doubted because I didn't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed if things happened differently. That's how this whole waiting-to-get-pregnant process has been for me. It's like a repeating cycle of vulnerability, hope, anticipation, and then putting on protective armor to shield your heart from the pain of disappointment and uncertainty. This second time around has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but still not nearly as much as it was before I got pregnant with Natalie. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't stress out about it like that again this time because ultimately, things truly do work out in God's timing. I know my journey doesn't look like anyone else's journey. So, the month came when I knew that if I did get pregnant, we would have a January baby. And things just felt different in my heart. I had a stronger positive outlook. I kept the doubt at bay, for the most part (again, putting up that protective shield in case my "intuition" was wrong).

Well, on a Thursday night, two days before I had told myself that I would take a pregnancy test, I went to bed super early because I was just really tired, and then I woke up super nauseated when Alex came to bed later. I managed to fall back to sleep, but woke up again at 4 and was really sick. Like, stomach bug sick. Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to take the pregnancy test at 4 a.m. Just a few seconds after the control line appeared, the test line appeared, forming that so deeply-desired plus sign.

Maybe it was because I physically felt so ill, but I didn't have nearly the same reaction this time as I did when I got a positive test with Natalie. I was excited and thanked God and vowed that I would not let my mind run wild, preventing me from sleeping the rest of the night (I still barely slept anyway because I kept getting sick). I think the thought of another early miscarriage happening a few days down the road probably factored in, too. After all, that was precisely why I was going to wait a few more days to test in the first place, but curiosity is a powerful thing!

After a rough night, my mom took Natalie later in the morning to help me out. I was pretty sure that I did indeed have a virus and not just really early on-set morning sickness, and tried to play it off as such to my parents. With Mother's Day just a little over a week away, I thought for sure that I could wait that long to surprise our moms with the news. And, I hadn't even told Alex yet! He'd been in a hurry to get to work that morning, so I figured it would be best to wait until after he got home so he wouldn't have the news of a new baby on his mind all day while he was trying to wrap up his work week.

My mom brought Natalie home for her nap and than a good friend took her to dinner before Alex got home so that I could rest some more. I wrote a quick note and taped it, along with the pregnancy test, to the cover of a baby name book I bought last summer and stuck them down in the most gender-neutral baby shower gift bag I had left from Natalie's baby showers. When Alex came home, I asked him to come sit next to me on the couch and he said, "But I don't want to catch whatever you have" and I said, "I don't think you can catch what I have" and I pulled the gift bag out and handed it to him. He was excited, but reserved about it being so early. Then he made a crack about having another winter baby. Oy vey. I just replied that if we had another girl, she could wear Natalie's hand-me-downs to save money and if we have a boy, well, we'd have to buy boy clothes anyway!

So there you have it! That's how I found out I was expecting baby #2!


5 comments:

  1. First of all, congratulations sweet lady! I'm excited for you. I found out super early with my last three pregnancies, and after having experienced a miscarriage with the first I know the feelings of hesitation so well. I miscarried our first baby in February 2008, and found out near mothers day that year we were expecting our January baby, Q. I wish I could say the anxiety got easier with each pregnancy, but it didn't. Especially because I would have those little feelings that I was pregnant, way earlier than most people. One thing I know: God is faithful. And just as you said, His timing is perfect. Oh, so perfect. {{hugs}}

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  2. Congratulations! I didn't know you were pregnant! Praying for God's peace in the nervousness and that you aren't nearly as sick as you were. Enjoy every moment as best as you can! Celebrating new life with you!

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  3. Congratulations! Wonderful news!

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  4. Love it, congratulations again! I had a different reaction when finding out we were pregnant withGwen too, and I think it's just because I wasn't as surprised as I was with Wyatt. Before I took the test I just kind of knew. I was thrilled, it just didn't take me as much by surprise!

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  5. Aww, congratulations you two! Exciting!

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