I don't know why certain things don't happen the way we planned them. I could get all caught up in asking, "Why?", but that won't really get me anywhere. Sometimes it just not for us to know. But, what I do know is that God's ways are not my ways (Isaiah 55:8). His plans for my life are not plans to harm me, but to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). And He came so that I may have life and life abundantly (John 10:10).
Last week, I found out I was pregnant and then four days later it was confirmed that I had miscarried. It all happened so fast. At the first signs of trouble, I was praying and trying to speak life over the situation. I kept praying that this baby would live, but, clearly, that was not meant to be. It was devastating. My dream of how our family was going to grow was ripped apart. Our kids would have been 21 months apart, which was within my "ideal time frame." I was going to be due in September, so Alex and I would both share birthday months with one of our children. It only took 4 months to conceive instead of 11 long months like it did with Natalie. I was going to pregnant at the same time as several close friends. But despite how perfectly it all seemed to have come together, God had other plans.
It was amazing to me how quickly peace and calm returned to me. I have wonderful friends and family that started praying at the first sign of trouble and God answered. If there's one thing that I learned while I was waiting to get pregnant with Natalie it is that God's timing is perfect. If right now isn't the time for us to expand our family, then that means that there is a time in the future that is better, and I'm ok with that. As much as I'd like to analyze the situation and pick the "perfect" month for our next child to be born so that there aren't ten other family events or holidays going on during the same month, in the grand scheme of things, that won't matter. I'm going to be thrilled when I find out I am expecting again and will greatly anticipate meeting that precious little one, whenever they will be born.
The thought that keeps occurring to me is abundant life. Abundant means abounding, rich, to have plenty. Despite what the circumstances around me are, I choose to live a rich life. I want it to be full-to-the-brim, spilling over and touching others so that they might find abundance, too. I want to be intentional with my time. That includes personal time, time with Natalie and Alex, friends, and other family. Life is too short to dwell on things that I cannot change and get stuck asking why certain things didn't turn out like I planned. I'm blessed beyond measure with an amazing family, a precious daughter, and abundant grace given by a sovereign Lord who loves me just the way I am. I am thankful to have gotten a good report from my doctor today that there is no reason to be concerned and we can go on planning our family without worrying about health complications.
"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord" Job 1:21 KJV
Last week, I found out I was pregnant and then four days later it was confirmed that I had miscarried. It all happened so fast. At the first signs of trouble, I was praying and trying to speak life over the situation. I kept praying that this baby would live, but, clearly, that was not meant to be. It was devastating. My dream of how our family was going to grow was ripped apart. Our kids would have been 21 months apart, which was within my "ideal time frame." I was going to be due in September, so Alex and I would both share birthday months with one of our children. It only took 4 months to conceive instead of 11 long months like it did with Natalie. I was going to pregnant at the same time as several close friends. But despite how perfectly it all seemed to have come together, God had other plans.
It was amazing to me how quickly peace and calm returned to me. I have wonderful friends and family that started praying at the first sign of trouble and God answered. If there's one thing that I learned while I was waiting to get pregnant with Natalie it is that God's timing is perfect. If right now isn't the time for us to expand our family, then that means that there is a time in the future that is better, and I'm ok with that. As much as I'd like to analyze the situation and pick the "perfect" month for our next child to be born so that there aren't ten other family events or holidays going on during the same month, in the grand scheme of things, that won't matter. I'm going to be thrilled when I find out I am expecting again and will greatly anticipate meeting that precious little one, whenever they will be born.
The thought that keeps occurring to me is abundant life. Abundant means abounding, rich, to have plenty. Despite what the circumstances around me are, I choose to live a rich life. I want it to be full-to-the-brim, spilling over and touching others so that they might find abundance, too. I want to be intentional with my time. That includes personal time, time with Natalie and Alex, friends, and other family. Life is too short to dwell on things that I cannot change and get stuck asking why certain things didn't turn out like I planned. I'm blessed beyond measure with an amazing family, a precious daughter, and abundant grace given by a sovereign Lord who loves me just the way I am. I am thankful to have gotten a good report from my doctor today that there is no reason to be concerned and we can go on planning our family without worrying about health complications.
"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord" Job 1:21 KJV
Amanda, my heart is just breaking for you, but your faith in the midst of this is so inspiring. I know the Lord has good plans for you and your family. Praying for you, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Callie! God has really comforted me and helped me look forward with anticipation instead of dwelling on "what could have been". You're a great friend!
DeleteAmanda, I came over from Callie's twitter. I'm so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks every time I hear of someone grieving after a miscarriage. I'm so inspired by your faith and attitude though.
ReplyDeletePraying that you and Alex would find comfort in God at this time.
Also know there is a fab organisation that has some great resource, info and support links based in the USA called the Hygeia Foundation : www.hygeiafoundation.org
With much love, Laura Anne
Thank you, Laura Anne! I will definitely check that link out.
DeletePraying for you. I just lost a baby in November so I know how you are feeling. I'm so so sorry for your loss. Praying for peace and hope during this sad time. Keep holding on to Christ. He is so faithful. Love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Claire. I will keep you in my prayers as well. I'm so thankful for the community of women who have unfortunately gone through this same experience, but it helps so much to know that I'm not alone.
DeleteWow, thanks for sharing, Amanda. Praise God for His peace that truly does surpass our understanding. Keep clinging to the truth!
ReplyDeleteI look forward already to the day when you share the news that you're pregnant again - and I know it will be perfect timing!
Thanks, Kristyn! God is faithful! I look forward to the future, knowing that it's in His capable hands!
ReplyDelete