Monday, December 5, 2011

37 Weeks, Wherein the Pregnancy Hormones Kick In

Today begins my 37th week of pregnancy. Gosh, that sounds like an eternity, but it has kind of flown by in a way. Until this past weekend, I'd pretty much felt like my same old self in the emotions department. No crazy mood swings, no crying fits, not even a craving (well, one day I craved nachos and french bread pizza, but other than that one day, I haven't craved anything!). Then on Saturday I started feeling overwhelmed about my pending motherhood. I tried to cross a few things off my "to-do before the baby comes" list and didn't get very far. Our hospital bags needed to be packed, but when I tried to pack Natalie's bag, I didn't know what to put in it for her. What if I left out something important? How many outfits did she need? Would the hospital supply diapers? So, feeling overwhelmed and like a horrible parent, I gave up and moved on to pack my bag.

Things didn't go any better there. So much laundry needed to be washed that I decided it would be better to wait to pack. In the middle of watching tv later that night, I looked at my growing belly and thought, "There's a baby in there, and she's getting ready to come out and I don't know what I'm going to do when she's here and I have to take care of her! I can't do this! It's too late to turn back now, but WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH A BABY!? I'M NOT READY FOR THIS!!!" I'd had my longest bout of Braxton Hicks earlier that afternoon after Christmas and grocery shopping for 3 hours. I think that experience kind of scared me a little because of the fear of the unknowns of labor.

Today, the emotions ran high again as I worried over a situation that I have no control over and stressed out about how and why I'd committed myself to so many crafting projects for other people that needed to be done before Christmas. After a few crying spells, lots of prayer, talks with friends and un-committing myself to one project, the day got better and now here I am. Layla is cuddled up with me on the couch and I'm relaxing to the sound of the dryer running. Alex was kind enough to play photographer for me once again so that we could capture this week's baby bump shot:

Our doula, Mattie, measured me at 33 weeks at my 36 week appointment, but she said that was nothing to worry about. Natalie's heart rate was 144 bpm, which is a little slower than average for a girl, but maybe that means she has her daddy's laid back personality. She's moving around a lot still and likes to kick her feet out against my right side. Maybe she'll enjoy playing soccer like I did. I'm not at all anxious to get this over with. I want her to stay in there and grow healthy and strong for a few more weeks, but hopefully no longer than three! I couldn't have asked for a better pregnancy. God has blessed us so abundantly; I refuse to take His blessings for granted by wishing this time away. Before I know it, my life will never be the same and there will be no going back to being a family of two. I want to enjoy these last few weeks and put aside the worries that tried to bog me down the past couple of days. God is bigger than all of that stuff anyway.

1 comment:

  1. Amanda, you look so cute! Your belly looks low. I can't wait to "meet" her! Don't worry, even if everything doesn't get done on your list - it seems to matter alot right now, but after the fact you look back and it doesn't seem like ssuch a big deal. Praying for a good labor and delivery in the next few weeks!